Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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