Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
