The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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