when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
