if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
