come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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