walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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