I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
