Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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