He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my being single is dangerous.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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