Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
