direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
