Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
