id be glad to
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
