i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
