His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
