Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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