I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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