So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
