From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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