Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
