no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i permit you to call me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
