great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
