I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
