just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
