Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
