Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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