i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
