i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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