Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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