ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
