i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
