It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
