Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
