I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
