Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
