Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
