UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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