In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
