Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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