Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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