Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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