he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
