So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
