She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
