Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
