uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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