I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
