i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
