they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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